In the cupboard under the sink

In our cupboard under the sink

There are bottles and cans blue purple and pink

What they’re all for I really don’t know

But one bears the legend “one squirt and stains go”

There must be a thousand of various kinds

Some to clean drains and some to wash blinds

They’ve all been amassed by the lady indoors

To make life more easier when doing the chores

Fancy spray bottles with names oh so grand

Some even come with their own special stand

There are cleaners for ovens and microwaves too

The others? I simply don’t know what they do

Bottles to squirt the stuff under the rim

Whoever designed that must be really quite grim

There’s one at the back I remember it well

My wife used it once but couldn’t stand the smell

But she still buys new products when she visits the shop

I think she’s an addict she just cannot stop

Her demeanour suggests she’s an innocent lass

But in that cupboard is stored the Critical Mass

I’m sure on that shelf there are chemicals there

That would see the end of the world’s ozone layer

I recon the paint on the Forth Railway Bridge

Could be stripped by the stuff that’s for cleaning the fridge

Yes , spray - bottles and cans we let it all out

No wonder there ‘s so much asthma about

What ever happened to those innocent days

When cleaning was done without chemical sprays

A packet of soda, a bucket and cloth

Their saucepans all shining when they made their broth

We used to use Ajax and carbolic soap

My mum just had Vim and she used to cope

So next time you’re cleaning just get to grips

And start using vinegar it’s not just for chips.